Ghosts

“Of course there are no ghosts,” He said disimissively.

“Why ‘of course’? Is it that obvious?”

He sighed. “You humans. Always so eager to get it right that you never consider thinking it through. Sometimes I look down at Earth and wonder if you ever think at all.”

“Hey, no need for the insults, G-man. I’m only mortal, you know.”

He scoffed. “ ‘Only mortal,’ is it? Then what are you doing here right now? After your death?” He continued without waiting for Ellie’s response. “You don’t know. Of course not. You’ve never thought about that either.”

“I didn’t-” she started.

“I mean, really,” He interrupted, taking no notice, “what was even the point of going to all the trouble of creating you lot – ‘in my image’, may I remind you – if you come here with these inane questions. You should be every bit as capable of figuring this out as I am.”

“Oh come on. That’s not fair! You can’t compare me to you. I mean, you’re G-”

“God, yes, I know,” He said mockingly. “And you’re what? A damned fool, by the looks of it.”

Ellie shrank back, eyes going wide.

“Ah, right, I know you RDs are very sensitive to the whole ‘damnation’ thing. A moron, then. How’s that?”

She said nothing, but He continued without taking notice.

“I mean, really. What would even be the point of having humans at all if I could just have ghosts?” He sounded irritated. “What, do you guys think I would’ve bothered to spend all my energy crafting the intricately interweaving and painstakingly precise assembly of the human body if I could’ve just summoned up a damn ghost instead? Like I’m some kind of bored hobbyist or something?”

“I-I didn’t mean-” she stammered, but He cut her off again.

“Hell! Do you have any idea how many times I had to rewrite physics to manage to get light to refract properly through a goddamn lens to achieve any semblance of focus? How many entire Universes—entire millions of Universes—I had to go through before I could generate enough stable elements to get bodies that hold themselves together for long enough to be any kind of useful?” He was shouting now. “You’re living with the 7,693,443rd version of Thermodynamics right now. And do you know why? Hmm?”

Ellie shook her head silently.

“Because that’s the only way I can get the damn show to run the way I want it to! Anything else and your heart overheats or the oceans turn to jelly or your flesh freezes and atrophies or the stars snuff out or I get that DAMNED carbon that can only bond to prime-numbered ions and let me tell you that one was not fun to sort out. And if it’s not one damn thing it’s the other! I’ve lost grosses of grosses of simulations to tiny cascading heat-transfer tweaks that phase-shift adjacent planes until the overlap tears the whole damn thing apart! I had to run simulation 4,444,444 for almost 8 trillion years before I could tame the fluctuations sufficiently that terminating wouldn’t release so much energy that it would ruin the whole fucking batch. EIGHT TRILLION! Have you merest fathom of how large a number that is? And don’t even get me started on gravity. But ghosts! Oh gee, why didn’t I think of that. Just make a ghost! Silly me! A stable perspective that isn’t subject to environmental interaction and provides a faithful information stream without some internal mechanism that requires any kind of upkeep. Genius!”

His last utterance rang out for several seconds before she gathered the courage to speak.

“N-not to make you angry or anything, but uh… ” Ellie hesitated, but He didn’t make any attempt to stop her beyond an impatient stare. “If there are no ghosts then, uh… what am I right now?”

He looked at her for a few seconds before lowering his head into his hands. “Of all the fucking-” He stopped for a moment before speaking again. “I’ve had enough. Eve, please get this human out of my sight.”

“Ma’am?”

The sudden appearance of the voice behind her made Ellie jump. She turned around to find the smiling figure of a small human woman standing behind her, with dark skin, hair, eyes, and clothes all perfectly in place. Before she could say anything, Eve took a step forward and placed a hand on Ellie’s arm, her fingers warm and soft to the touch.

“This way please, ma’am.” She signaled left, towards a door Ellie could’ve sworn hadn’t been there before and took another step forward. “Anything else I can do for you, Sir?”

“Yes, Eve. Get me an RD from one of the Universes that has its shit together, please. A good one.”

“I can definitely do that, Sir. Prime, I take it?”

“Please. These damn Composites are making my head spin. I just want a nice conversation with someone who used their life to actually learn something interesting.”

Ellie didn’t look, but she could feel Him looking at her. She had no sooner crossed through the door than she felt Eve’s presence behind her again.

“Now,” Eve said as Ellie turned to face her, “I believe you had some questions?”

“I, um… yeah, I did.” Ellie answered sheepishly. “I just wanted to know if uh, ghosts or, y’know, souls and stuff like that are real. I know He… kind of answered, but He said a lot of things and I don’t think I really got it. I didn’t think it was such a bad thing to ask…”

Eve smiled sympathetically. “Okay. One moment, please.” She pressed two fingers to her temple and closed her eyes for several seconds. “Ah, yes. Here we go. You’re Ellie from Earth, correct?”

Ellie nodded.

“Your question is actually quite a common one across many different Universes. I understand it can be difficult for beings originating from material realities to comprehend subtle ideas, so we’ll go slowly, okay?”

“I mean, I’m not dumb or anything,” Ellie responded, “but okay.”

“Now, in order to get to the heart of the matter, we have to start with a question,” Eve explained patiently, “What is a human, Ellie?”

Ellie was silent for a few seconds before answering. “Um. I mean, we’re… animals, right? Genetically, I mean.”

Eve laughed a sweet laugh. “Yes, I suppose that is true. Let me try a different question. Do you remember how you died, Ellie?”

“Yeah. I was in a car accident.”

“Correct. And do you know where you are now?”

“Not really. I mean, I guess it’s Heaven or the afterlife or something, but I don’t really know for sure.”

“But you are definitely here, right?” Eve raised an eyebrow at her expectantly.

“…Yes? I think I am. I guess I don’t know for sure.”

Eve gave her a strange look. “Can you give me a moment, Ellie?”

“Um, sure thing.” Ellie replied, unsure of whether she had said something wrong.

Right away, Eve pressed two fingers to her ear, standing completely still. She began speaking into the air. “Sir? Are all humans like this?”

“YES.” The answer came immediately, so loud that even Ellie could hear it. She felt her face go red.

Eve began smiling again. “Okay, Sir. Thank you.” She lowered her fingers and turned back to Ellie. “Alright, Ellie. Let’s try something a little different.” She put her hands together in front of her and brought them apart vertically. As she did, a clear image of Earth appeared between them, rotating slowly. She removed her hands and left the globe spinning between them. “Now, Ellie, do you-”

“That’s Earth.” Ellie said, trying to sound confident. “It’s where I was born and where I died.”

“Indeed it is,” nodded Eve, unfazed by the interruption. “Now let’s see if you can answer this one for me, Ellie: Where am I getting this image from?” She looked at the spinning Earth between them.

Ellie furrowed her brow. “What do you mean?”

“There is an image of the Earth in front of you. What is the source of this image?”

“I- it’s… you? You’re generating it, right? So I guess you’re like, projecting it from your imagination or something?”

“A good guess, but I have never been to Earth.” She shot Ellie a questioning look. “I did not know what it looks like before now, so I certainly could not generate an image like this myself.”

“But can’t you use like-” Ellie hesitated, not wanting to sound stupid, “like project yourself to the Earth to show the image or something?”

“Hmm.” Eve said before falling silent for a moment. “I see what the problem is now. No, Ellie, I cannot do that. What you are asking for is impossible.”

“What? How can it be impossible? Aren’t you like an angel or whatever? How can anything be impossible for you?”

“It is not that I am incapable of it,” Eve explained patiently, “It is simply impossible. Like drawing a square circle; the proposal is in itself illogical.”

“Well I don’t get it, then. Where is the image coming from?”

“Somewhere. That is precisely the issue. All acquired information must have both a source and a receiver. In this case, the source is sunlight reflected off the Earth’s surface, and the receiver is one of your many orbiting satellites.”

“Wait, you’re pulling this from a satellite feed?” Ellie said, caught off guard.

“Indeed I am,” Eve replied, nodding. “Many of them simultaneously, and the images collated into a cohesive whole.”

“Oh,” Ellie said softly, looking at the spinning orb of the Earth. She wasn’t sure why it felt so underwhelming.

“You sound disappointed, Ellie,” Eve remarked, smiling again.

“I don’t know, it just seems so… mundane. You’re like this incredibly powerful being, y’know, and satellites are just… things that we build on Earth.”

Eve laughed. “Indeed they are. But why is this disappointing? Isn’t it precisely the reason you build satellites in the first place? To provide a remote perspective of Earth?”

“I guess,” Ellie said, shrugging. “I just figured you would have a way of doing it that’s more… advanced or something?”

“We do,” Eve affirmed. “Your machines encode information through light – a fair system for a material society – and then decode it through a receiver. We can skip these steps and tune directly to the moment the image is gathered, losing no fidelity in the process. This is applicable to any information receiver, from the capture and release of a single electron to the Experience of a complete human mind. This is what humans are, really. We build humans for the same reasons you build satellites.”

Ellie’s eyes went wide. “What do you mean?”

“Humans, as well as plants, animals, bacteria, and other matter structures, function as remote information gathering apparatuses. Whenever there is information in any part of any Universe that We need to gather, We construct a receiver through which we can observe it. For example, in order to directly measure the perspective from atop Earth’s tallest mountain, which I understand you have given the name ‘Everest’, various humans had to be constructed under certain specific circumstances until they had the necessary properties to gather this information for Us.”

“What? So Sir Edmund Hillary’s great expedition was only carried out so you could look through his eyes?”

“You are familiar with the event,” Eve commented with a smile before continuing, “Indeed, Edmund Hillary and his partner Tenzing Norgay provided us with the first direct apprehension of Everest’s summit perspective. In this sense, their creation was a great success for Us.”

“For you? What about for them?” Ellie asked indignantly, her tone rising. “They realized a dream that humanity had held for centuries, if not millenia! They dedicated themselves and risked their lives to climb that mountain! They didn’t do it for you ! And never mind that, what about all the others? What about all the people who died in the attempt?”

“Some perspectives are harder to reach than others,” Eve replied sadly.

“What, so that’s it, then?” Ellie was fuming. “Is that all their lives meant to you? Just broken cameras or something? Measuring instruments that couldn’t be useful to you?”

Eve didn’t respond.

“Well?” Ellie exclaimed accusingly. “Don’t you have anything to say? For all the people you’ve brought into this world? For all the people who have suffered and died in horrible circumstances for you? For all the people who have slaved for you? All the heartbreak and terror and misery we’ve been through just so you could, what, get high-resolution images of every inch of Earth? How can you say that’s all we are ?”

Eve stared at her patiently, showing no hint of regret. “I think you misunderstand me, Ellie.”

“No, I think you misunderstand, Eve.” Ellie said furiously, pointing a finger at Eve. “I know us humans are too insignificant to even register on your radar from way up here in wherever-the-hell-we-are, so let me fill you in on how we operate. When a human decides they want to do something, they do it. End of story. It may take an hour, or a day, or fifty years, but we’ll always achieve our goal. If the goal is hard, we do it. If the goal is arduous, we do it. If the goal is dangerous, we do it. If the goal is ridiculous, we do it. If the goal is terrifying, we do it. If the goal is impossible, we fucking do it. And if the goal is different from what you want us to do, we do it. We live our lives for ourselves. Not for you.”

Eve waited for her to finish before speaking. “I think you misunderstand me, Ellie.” Her tone was the same as it had been before, and she continued without giving Ellie a chance to interrupt.

“Although it is true that the primary function of material forms in a Universe is information collection, the specifics are not quite so simple. You see, Ellie, information consists of more than just what you can identify with your five senses. In addition to visual, auditory, olfactory, gustatory, and haptic information, humans are designed and calibrated to receive and explore conceptual and emotional information. These elements, in their various spacetime permutations, combine into what we refer to as Experience. Experience is gathered by matter in accordance with its physical capacities, and then relayed onto Us. Of all the experience-gathering mechanisms we have devised for Earth, the human is by far the most complete.”

Ellie opened her mouth to protest, but Eve held up a hand to silence her and continued talking.

“All matter has the capacity for information gathering in different ways. And while, yes, We could without much issue tap into the stream from a single atom atop Mount Everest, it would not do us much good. A system like an atom has a very low experience threshold and We would only receive a limited sequence of electron excitation events pertaining to a very select few luminar wavelengths as well as very basic collision events to derive pressure and temperature from. What’s more, because atoms have no mechanism of storing the experience they gather for future transmission, We would only be able to receive a direct stream of information with no way of telling what transpired previously.

In order to gather visual information, an apparatus for gathering luminar energy must be constructed. In order to gather sonorous information, a vibration detector must be constructed. So it goes for all components of experience. Since we were uncertain of the exact conditions present on Earth, many experiments had to be conducted for different sensory systems and configurations, resulting in the array of different life forms you observed during your life. Some of these forms are more stable than others. Some are better at detecting certain forms of information or better at gathering experience from certain sources than others. All forms are suited to gather experience from the environment in which they develop, but the most useful and versatile of these forms is the human.

Although the human posseses mediocre olfactory and gustatory systems and only average to above-average auditory, visual, and haptic systems, the sensitivity with which the human is capable of apprehending conceptual and emotional information is what distinguishes it from its other Earthly bretheren. Indeed, your reservations concerning our methods is understandable, given the intensity of the human experience. However, keep in mind that when I stated that the creation of the specifc humans Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay was for the purpose of transmitting the perspective from the summit of Mount Everest, I was making reference to the whole of the human experience. To put it into perhaps more parseable language: We did not just send humans up a mountain because we wanted to know what it looks like at the summit. We wanted to feel it.”

Ellie stood dumbstruck for a minute, a peculiar mixture of revulsion and awe carved into her features. As the implications of Eve’s explanation worked their way through her mind, her gaze fell to the featureless white floor, away from Eve.

“We’re your slaves,” she said softly, a hint of despair in her voice.

“Ellie, it’s not like that,” Eve said calmly.

“How is it not like that?” Ellie snapped her head back towards Eve, tears in her eyes. “We’re just trying to live our lives. That’s all we want. To just try and find a way to make our lives mean something in the chaos. But we can’t even suffer without having you look down through our sadness, can we? Our triuphs and our failures that we fight so hard for are just for your beneft. All these things we believe. Love. Fate. Destiny. It’s just you, isn’t it. Manipulating us into whatever you need us to feel. Trying to lead us into whatever ‘perspectives’ you want to see. Our lives aren’t even ours.”

“Although it is true that we have a limited capacity within which we can influence the actions of-” Eve started, her voice steady but sympathetic.

“Oh God. This is so awful. And it’s even worse than I thought, isn’t it?” Ellie clutched her head in her hands as her thoughts advanced. “Because this makes all of our suffering intentional. You’ve orchestrated all our deaths, haven’t you? You’ve led us into our accidents and conflicts. And for what? So you could see how much it hurts? So you could ‘receive the information stream’ of our broken hearts and minds? Fuck.”

Eve did not react. “Ellie, We have not been-”

“I was in love!” Ellie shouted, crying. “But that doesn’t mean anything. You just put us together so you could pull us apart and see how we break. Is that what you’re doing? Collecting Orik’s ‘experience’ as he-” her voice broke into sobs, “-as he learns about the accident? When he has to call my parents? Is this what you want? Is this the kind of ‘data’ that you’re trying to get out of us, you fucking-”

“That’s enough, Ellie!” Eve said, her voice so sudden and loud it seemed to fill the space around them. Ellie collapsed onto the floor, her complaints reduced to gentle weeping. After a short moment, Eve began speaking again.

“I understand the nature of your distress, Ellie,” she said softly, looking down at Ellie. Ellie made no move to respond. “But you are not looking at this correctly. Yes, the events that occur in all Universes are determined here and yes, experiences that involve pain and suffering provide valuable insight into the different varieties of circumstances under which Universes can exist, but We are not the cruel tyrants you imagine us to be. All of our information is collected in the most careful and respectful way We can devise.

Wherever there is an Experience we need to collect, we seek out a volunteer who is both willing and capable of undergoing the necessary strain that the experience will put them through. Then, we outfit them in the appropriate vessel, be it an atom, protein, plant, animal, or other structure, and send them to collect the Experience. Once returned, they share the information with Us, and We all grow with it.”

Ellie looked up at Eve distrustingly. “What? How do I know this is true?”

“Simple,” replied Eve, smiling again, “after all, you volunteered for this yourself, did you not?”

“I- I did?” Ellie asked uncertainly.

Eve nodded. “It is understandable if your memory has not returned yet. Often the impact of a material Experience can prove so overwhelming as to shroud earlier memories for an extended period of time. This is particularly so in Prime-frequency Universes for reasons We have yet to apprehend. The reason you are here is the same as with other volunteers: to relay unto us your Experience and select your next assignment.”

“I don’t-” Eve started, a note of confusion in her voice. But she could not shake the feeling of familiarity in Eve’s voice. “Have we had this conversation before?”

Eve’s smile widened. “Very good, Ellie. Now, we have a lot of work to do before we can move forward. Do you have any other questions?”

Ellie stood up, still looking unsure of where and what she was. “I’m not sure. You said I’m a volunteer, right?”

“That’s correct,” Eve affirmed.

“I just- I don’t understand why I would’ve volunteered to have my life go the way it did.” Ellie thought back to the things she could remember about her life. She thought of her childhood and her studies and Orik and all the things she had seen. She could not shake the disappointing feeling that it was all a bit too simple and mundane for what Eve had told her. “I feel like I didn’t really do anything that you couldn’t get from other people who have lived.”

Eve nodded slowly, taking a step forward as she did. She held her left hand out in front of Ellie’s face, fingers outstretched. “May I?”

“Uh, sure.” Ellie replied, unsure what Eve was doing.

Eve took another slow step forward, the warm palm of her hand making contact with Ellie’s forehead. She closed her eyes for several seconds before opening them again and stepping back. Ellie felt no different.

“All lives are unique. It is a problem on your Earth that humans are often discouraged from seeking out experiences, but always remember that even things We have seen many times are different from each perspective. Indeed, a good part of the work we are doing on Earth is to encourage inspiration in humans so that our future volunteers may have an easier time finding their way to the goals they decide upon.”

Ellie reached up to her forehead and touched the spot where Eve’s hand had been. It felt normal. “Okay.” Ellie thought for a moment. “What about this: I’m a volunteer, right? But like, a volunteer what? Like am I talking to you with my soul or something?”

Eve gave Ellie a strange look and put two fingers up to her ear. Ellie felt herself go red again. “Hello, Sir. Yes. I was wondering if I could be reassigned.”

A booming laugh echoed through the air, startling Ellie.

“Wait, Eve, c’mon,” Ellie said, embarrassed.

“Thank you, Sir,” Eve said, taking no notice of Ellie. She turned around and began walking away from Ellie.

“Eve, hang on. If this is about me yelling at you earlier, I-”

Eve vanished.

Ellie looked into the blankness that surrounded her. There were no features to be seen in any direction.

“I’m not sure I got it,” she said, before vanishing as well.